just like the cat

Something unprecedented happened today.  Summer struck very late this year, in fact there was really no summer to speak of until two weeks ago.  But today it was hot and glorious and the sky was blue and the back yard was calling me.

For probably the first time in two decades, I laid in the sun.  By Myself.  It was remarkable.  I just laid and prayed a rosary with the sun beating down on me.  It was not conducive to the sorrowful mysteries, but it was Friday after all.  I chose to enter into Christ's sorrow, and to offer my mediation up for the sorrows of others.  At this moment, I was experiencing none whatsoever.

It reminded me of something that occurred quite some time ago.  Our cat had a litter of kittens.  I had a houseful of small children.  When the kittens were about eight weeks old, we started finding homes for them.  Over a week or two, we found homes for all her kittens.  The day the last kitten went, I noticed her searching every corner of the house, every hiding place in the yard.  As it's difficult to perceive a cat's emotional state, I assumed that she was concerned for the whereabouts of her kittens and looking for them.

What she was doing was actually making sure the coast was clear.  For when she had searched her known world, and the world was found wanting of kittens, she went into the middle of the garden, found a sunny spot, curled up and slept the afternoon away.

I remember wondering if it was going to be like that for me one day.  Instead of grieving that my children were gone, I would just lay down and have a good old nap. 

Today, like my kitty cat, I looked about.  The big kids were busy, working and packing.  The boys all went off to a birthday party.  Rosebud was engrossed in a story tape. The coast was clear. I found my sunny spot in the garden.

And I slept in the sun. 

I'm like other mammals.  And I'm not like other mammals.  One hour after my moment in the sun, I had my sweet Alice, 24 years of age, folded up in my arms.  And we both cried.  My heart was heavy because she is moving away, in just a few days as far across the continent as she can get, except maybe for northernmost regions of Nunavut.  She's going to Florida

It's going to be good. She is going to study classics at Ave Maria University and she will be brilliant and she will love it and I am going to be glad she's there.  But I will miss her.  Terribly.

And Scout is going back for another year at Our Lady Seat of Wisdom Academy in Ontario.  And it, too is Very Far Away.  And she is more excited than she has ever been in her whole life.  And she should be.  What the school will offer her is beyond my scope.  Only God can grant her the full autonomy of Christian Womanhood.  And He has chosen to make this experience part of her journey.

Children bring us to the most intense of all emotions.  There it is.