Bonnie Landry

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heavy questions

I've got some news for you.  Being a mother is hard.  And, you get to be a perennial amateur.  The job description changes with your entire life.  Even when you get sort of old. And have lots of kids, and your kids are getting kind of old.  And, to top that off, every kid is totally different, even if their genetic information came from the same two macroscopic organism.  I guess that is the one upside of simpler life forms.  Probably their kids are all pretty much the same.

The only up side I can think of for leaving your offspring in the murky shallows is that if they turn out badly, you only have nature to blame it on, nurture has nothing to do with it - they didn't have any.
Not that I am looking for somewhere to lay the blame.  I'm just chawin'.

I did leave you in the lurch yesterday when I didn't reveal the answers that I gave my boys when they asked those questions (see previous post).   And I will tell you what I told them on one condition.  I am not telling you what to tell your children, or grandchildren or future children or other people's children.  I take no responsibility in the formation of other people's children.  Only mine.

Huckleberry asked if, when people kiss in a movie, but in real life were married to other people than those they were kissing in a movie, was it considered adultery. Now, I firmly believe in talking over children's heads because I can't really think of a good reason not too.  My kids have learned pretty quick to just keep up.

I don't know if I am right or wrong here, but this is what I told him.  People in movies are actors, that is their job.  And sometimes they have to act that they are a husband or wife to somebody.  If they kiss someone in a movie they are doing their job, it doesn't mean that they are being unfaithful to their spouse.  However, somebody who is committed to God's will has a responsibility to avoid occasions of sin in all forms, including in his job.  Kissing people, or working with people who are behaving or even acting to behave in an impure way or are immodestly dressed has the potential to be occasions of sin for most people.

These actions might also place undue stress on the real marriages of the actors involved.  It could be that an actor has a responsibility to take roles that don't require them to be entertaining occasions of sin.  Perhaps as Christians, we are even called to stand up for what we believe, and inform people who work in the industry that scenes between married couples can be dealt with in such a way that actors needn't be having unnecessary physical contact, the portrayal of marriage in a movie doesn't require the audience witnessing any type of intimacy between the couple.  Their marriage intimacy, even kissing, is presumed.

When a movie is portraying relationships that are illicit, the audience also doesn't need to visibly see the sin on screen.  Scenes graphic in nature almost never need screen time.  Good acting, subtleties and allusions to sin are enough to get the message across.  Handling intimacy, licit or otherwise, in this way would make so many movies excellent family films.  Its important for us to let movie makers know that we appreciate purity in films.

So, is it adultery?  That would depend on the parties involved.  Would it place the actor in a precarious position?  Possibly.  Is it necessary?  No, not likely.

Okay, next question, Silas.  Why is most impurity in movies about the women?  (I have to talk really fast now, because I have 1.5 minutes left)  Well, son of mine, God made men, and that includes you to be very visual.  They have to notice things really well with their eyes and remember them, because before life got all modernized, men had to hunt and protect their families and communities.  They had to see dangers and be able to react quickly.  God also made it so men appreciate the special kind of beauty of women.  God want men to be attracted to women so they will marry and have children for His sake.

People who make movies and create advertising to sell things know this. And our God given desires and gifts get easily distorted. So if they want to make lots of money on their movies, if they put in things that they believe will attract men.  Action and immodestly dressed women attract a lot of men who may not realize that seeing those images can affect their soul.  It can make them desire these things in a disordered way and make them see women only as objects of pleasure.

Its important for you boys to protect your eyes from images that cause impure thoughts, and to protect your mind from dwelling on thoughts that provoke feelings you don't want to entertain.  You are holy boys to care about these things.  Thank you for asking me these important questions.  You can always ask me or Dad about confusing things.

"Thanks for explaining all that mom."

Phew.  I am out of breath.