crosses

Serious posting withdrawals.  Wow.  Hope you missed me as much as I missed you.  I just really want to take a moment to thank all of you who allow me this golden opportunity to unload all my baggage.  The bad news is, there is more.  I'll let the drivel leak out in the usual way.  Its been a busy week.  Month.
 Year. 
  Decade.  Anyway, the last few hours have been especially busy, having a giant graduation party here this very night.  Its 12:14 and the last child is finally asleep.  That is not entirely true.  The big children are just putting on a movie.  Sigh.  But I am going to bed. 

But first, this late breaking post.

I am not very good at carrying my crosses.  I am less good, even, at finding joy in my crosses.  There is a generally a lack of enthusiasm at carrying crosses even amongst Christians.  Its too bad, because, after all, that's what we are supposed to do.  And I have noticed that only super holy people find the joy in difficulty.  And shortly after they find that joy, they die.

It seems to me that I, along with lots of others, are missing a pretty serious boat here. THE boat.  The one we are supposed to be on.  God's boat.  The boat for getting to heaven.  The boat that pleases the Lord.  That boat.

How many times have you heard a mother say, "Oh, what joy!  I awoke last night five times with our little blessing!"  Or, "Look, a massive juice spill to clean up!  Perhaps when I am done that, the children will be fighting and I will step in to assist them in working out their differences!"  "Honey!  You had a bad day and you would like to dump on me for a while?  I embrace the opportunity!  It would bring me great joy!"

Not me.  You know what I would like?  Peace.  Just a little bit of peace.  Embracing my cross looks more like tolerating my cross at best. If I can just get through this morning and be cheerful even though I feel like Snarky the Snake Mother, I'll be doing okay. Complaining about it at worst.  What the heck, God?  Aren't we on the same page here? Don't you want me to have more children?  Lighten up, please.

I really want to suffer better, to embrace it and find joy.  But when I am faced with the suffering option, my reaction is more like suffer...shmuffer. 

But I know one unexpected group of people who are totally excellent at carrying their cross.  At finding joy in it.  At embracing the cross.

Country and Western singers.  And song writers.  If you aren't C&W fans, perhaps its time to start.  These people have a lot to teach us. Country and Western singers love sadness and sorrow and pain and death so much that they write songs about is, and sing for all they are worth about it.  The wallow in it, and share it with the world...the celebrate suffering and joy. 

Man. 

Wish I could be like that.
More on this.